Last month we got a new air conditioner, and I wouldn’t even let Thomas touch the box it came in because of what happened last year. I had been dreading this moment all year, replaying that morning in September. I felt awful thinking about it, which is to say I felt very grateful. Imagining catastrophes isn’t a particularly good habit, but it is one that engenders gratitude, one way to stop taking things for granted. The fear of losing something is a way to state that the thing matters. It’s the airplane drop underneath your feet with no warning, and the sudden rush of love and relief when it steadies itself again.