Metropolitan is basically what if the boys in Diner followed that horse-riding girl to find out what’s going on that they don’t know about, and it turned out to be Catherine Zeta-Jones’s dinner party in High Fidelity.

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"this is the wednesday edition, because sometimes wednesday happens at 5am on thursday. it’s fine."

Thursday, between the hours of 1 am to 5 am is an excellent to write long things, although mine were always about how chest-beating pundits are all morons who learn to actually read a map occasionally.

"I don’t actually know what Metropolitan is about."

It's about rich kids who go to parties at christmas but find the whole thing pretty meaningless, because their lives are solely about money and going to (meaningless) parties where they hang out with the exact same set of rich kids.

"I also think everyone behind every other lit-up window is having some impossibly cool, impossibly sinister sex party to which I wasn’t invited. "

Ah, and I'm from a city when I never suspected sinister sex parties were going on behind lit-up windows because the police would be after you more or less instantly. Also especially if it was just a two-dude sex party. Every lit-up window was some evangelical nutcase praying and practicing bomb-making, or a redneck cleaning his arsenal, or some suit guy at home plotting to do some tax evasion in between plying stewardesses with cocaine, or some guy dealing drugs.

"from a block away he mistook me for his also-red-haired girlfriend, and he called out “baby, I got us a tree.”

Why is Twitter awash in redheads: it seems like the equivalent of the entire population of australia in redheads is on there? Like the way the yahoo homepage seems to consist entirely of celebrities you've engaged in catfights about incidents on tv shows that probably haven't bothered to exist*, plus visual proof that 1/7 of the world's population consists of bikini contest entrants. You'd think there'd be shortage of bikinis, and also contests to enter.


going by the sun, it's still 3:30 am at almost 7

* if the entire entertainment news complex consisted of ai-generated fake news, how would you tell?

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